My plan is for this story to have a pretty different tone from most of the others I’ve been working on. Birgitta and Kiki are heroines who will always win at the end of the day and are going to wield their sexuality as a weapon, not have it be a weakness. I DO want them to face perverted hardships but I want this to have a much lighter, happier tone then the rest of the stories I’m working on.
You can find the first pert below the break.
“And what troublesome god has turned their ire to me this day,” the man grumbled as he kicked the wheel of his cart that had fallen off. “There’s no way I’ll get this back on without the help of another.” He sighed in frustration then did the only thing he could: sat on the back of his crooked cart and waited for a traveler to pass by who would be kind enough to help him.
He heard distant music long before he saw where it was coming from. As the sound drew closer he could make out a lute being played, but not the lyrics of the tune. He realized he COULD make out the lyrics, it was just that the words were nonsense. Yet as he listened the lyrical gibberish carried so much emotion he felt he could almost hear what their meaningless words meant.
Two women came into sight in the distance, one tall and walking with long steady strides down the road and the other small and dancing in circles around the other as she played a lute and sang the song of oddly enchanting gibberish.
The tall woman had a striking figure that her tight clothing showed off. She had long, thickly muscled legs and a slim waist with impressively sized breasts that could be easily seen even from a great distance. She had vibrant blond shoulder-length hair and as she drew closer he could see that although she had beautiful Elven features her face remained stern and serious, dulling the beauty.
Even from a distance he could see that she carried herself like a woman used to violence. His first thought was adventurer, but she appeared to carry no weapons. His next thought was that the woman must be ex-military. Mostly he was interested in discovering why such a dour woman was traveling with such a bright and exuberant companion.
The girl dancing around the grim woman was significantly shorter than her, perhaps by more than a foot. The tall Elven woman stood with perfect posture and was covered with hard muscle under the softer, curvier parts of her body. The girl, although neither fat nor even plump, had a softness that seemed more than it was beside the hard woman. Her unkempt brown hair seemed to add to the sense of softness beside the stern woman’s perfectly groomed blond hair.
She had a dainty waist but a wide ass and thick juicy thighs. He had a hard time judging the size of the girl’s breasts, partly because of how she was dancing around the other woman as she sang her song and played her lute, but mostly because the Elven woman’s breasts were each at least twice the size of the smaller girl’s head. Aside breasts so large the girl’s breasts were going to look small no matter their size.
The tall woman was dressed in formfitting leather and clothing as tight as it was black. The younger girl wore a brightly colored crimson dress so low cut her breasts seemed to be constantly close to falling out as she danced about. The skirt of her dress was scandalously short, and even from a distance her exuberant dancing left no doubt that she had no small clothing on underneath. She wore jaunty boots and had tights that went to just above her knees, leaving her juicy thighs exposed. The only other clothing she wore was a tight choker around her slender, long neck the same crimson as her dress.
Neither woman showed any sign of noticing the man or his broken cart even as they neared hailing distance. He hopped off the back of the cart and called out to them, waving them down. Only then did the stern woman nod an acknowledgment of to the man.
“Greetings, travelers,” he called out as they approached, even more amused by the way the smaller girl was dancing and singing around her stern companion now that she was trying to pay attention to him.
“Kiki,” the woman snarled, throwing an arm out to slap the young girl in the chest. “Enough of your annoying prattle.”
The girl let out a loud “oooof” as the back of the woman’s hand slammed into her chest, sending her stumbling back. When she righted herself she grinned embarrassedly at the man but as soon as she’d recovered she continued playing her lute, standing a pace behind her traveling companion.
He’d thought the girl a Human but now that she was close and not dancing around he thought he was perhaps wrong. There was something Elven about her features and he suspected she was a Common Elve. She had pretty elfin features that made her look barely of age yet the mischievous grin she wore suggested she was significantly older than she looked. He knew with the right mix of Elven blood someone could look Human but never appear to age past late adolescence.
“Good afternoon, kind ser,” the stern woman said with a nod.
“Good afternoon, uh, ladies?” He was unsure how to address the strange duo, something that seemed to amuse the girl playing the lute immensely. “What brings you traveling this way with your, uh, daughter?” he asked, knowing it was a presumptuous way to start a conversation, but he was too curious to hold back.
The girl erupted into a fit of raucous laughter, slamming her hand on her lute then doubling over. The tall woman glowered, trying her best to ignore her.
“Did you hear that, Birgitta?” the girl asked when she righted herself, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “Your bloody daughter!”
“Kiki is not my daughter,” Birgitta declared grumpily.
“Is she your ward, then?” the man asked, even more curious now.
Kiki erupted into a fresh fit of giggles. “Ward? WARD? Could you imagine? ‘Oh mighty Herald of the Crimson Light, please protect your young ward from all the danger we’ll meet on the road! Please, I’m but a helpless girl.’” She doubled over laughing again.
The man’s eyes grew large. “You are a Herald of the Crimson Light?”
“We BOTH are,” Kiki retorted, snottily sticking her tongue out at the man.
“Uh, beg my pardon lady, but aren’t you a little… small?”
She hopped forward and strummed her lute dramatically. “Ah, but kind ser! It is not the size of a person that matters when you are blessed by the Goddess of the Crimson Light! It is the size of one’s emotions that matter. Even the smallest of people can change the world if they feel their emotions strongly enough.
“And I assure you, kind ser, I feel more than most. I take my love for the beauty of the world around me and my respect and admiration for those that are valorous and brave and channel it the way the Goddess of the Crimson Light has shown me to-”
“She’s a Bard,” Birgitta declared, cutting her off. “A bloody annoying one.”
Kiki strummed her lute dramatically again, pirouetting then falling to lean against her tall companion. “But ya love me nonetheless!” she said, grinning up at Birgitta.
“I assure you, Kiki, love is NOT the emotion you are eliciting in me right now. Now please, take a seat on that log on the side of the road and let the serious people speak for a moment without interruption.”
“Fine,” Kiki said with a huff as she pushed off of Birgitta. She stomped to the log the tall woman had pointed her to and plopped down onto it with a petulant grunt, slinging her lute over her shoulder as she did. “But I’m NOT playing any music while you make me take a time out,” she pouted, bracing her hands on the log while leaning back and spreading her legs open in a very unladylike way.
“And you say the young woman is not your daughter or ward?”
“She’s not as young as she looks,” Birgitta growled. “She’s my… companion. Although right now she’s being a pouty slut.” She turned her head to Kiki, who was indeed pouting as she sat on the log. “Close your legs, Kiki,” she barked. “The kind man can see you’ve no small clothing on. Not everyone in the world wants to see your hairy little twat.”
“It’s not THAT hairy,” she muttered. “You’re just salty because you have too much Elven blood to be able to grow some pussy hair,” she added grumpily. Then her face lit up with a huge grin as she pointed to the man. “And HE seems to be enjoying taking a nice long look at my puss.”
The man coughed and his face burnt bright red. “I’m… I didn’t mean… I just…”
Birgitta rolled her eyes. “Kiki, just close your legs and stop distracting the poor man or I’ll come over there and TIE them closed.”
Kiki squealed and hopped in delight as she slammed her legs closed. “How about you promise to tie me up LATER and I’ll do whatever you want NOW?”
“Fine,” Birgitta said. “Just please shut the fuck up for now.”
Kiki squealed happily and threw her hands over her mouth to show she’d remain silent.
“I apologize,” Birgitta said. “What had you been asking me? The brat makes me so flustered sometimes.”
“Uh… I had been asking the nature of your relationship.”
“Ah, yes. She’s my traveling companion.”
He furrowed his brow, looking between the women. “That isn’t really an answer,” he said, knowing he might be pushing too far but too curious to stop.
“No,” Birgitta said with a resigned sigh, “but it IS the truth. Now tell me, ser, would you like assistance fixing your cart?”
“Oh! Yes, I would.” The two women were so engaging in their differences that he’d forgotten why was stranded in the road.
As Birgitta helped the man fix his cart she inquired as to the nearest inn.
“Just down the road,” he told her. “The Cold Pigeon Inn.” Once his cart was fixed he thanked her and started to pull his coin pouch from his belt.
“Please, ser, it was nothing,” Birgitta declared. “If you insist on paying me consider putting up with Kiki as your payment, I certainly wish someone would pay me for the herculean endeavor.”
Kiki hopped to her feet, flinging her lute from behind her back and beginning to strum the chords. “Shall I write a new song about this glorious adventure? When the mighty Birgitta bravely sent her ‘traveling companion’ to a time out so she could help put a wheel back on a cart? I’d think such an epic ballad could earn us many a free drink at the inn ahead.”
“We can’t get there soon enough,” Birgitta said as the two began continuing down the road, leaving the man behind.
“So you DO want me to write you a new song so we can get absolutely shit-faced!”
“No, Kiki, I’m looking forward to getting you alone in a rented room so I can sit on your fucking face and silence you.”
“Now THAT needs a song. Oh, wait, I’ve already written several about you grinding one off on my pretty little face. Shall I sing one now to get you in the mood?”
“Just not the one about that time we’d just come from the Whispering Woods. I hate that one.”
Before Kiki began singing she laughed raucously. “Bwahaha! He thought I was your DAUGHTER!” She then began dancing around Birgitta again, singing a lewd, lengthy, and detailed ballad about being nearly suffocated by her ‘traveling companion’s Elven muff as the two continued on their way.
What happens when Birgitta and reach the The Cold Pigeon Inn? (Choose up to 4 options from this poll)